Thursday, June 26, 2014

Extreme Kidnapping continues to Innovate in 2014

Just when you thought you heard it all from us, we continue to innovate and are now helping clients....lose weight. Yes, you can now get kidnapped and forced to lose weight! Diets are so played out, they hinge on your own personal willpower, and fickle momentary desires to indulge or abstain, but now, with our new hard core weight loss program, we take the choice out of your hands! You've been kidnapped, so you eat when we feed you. Forget late night snacking, hard to eat when your chained to a cot. Worried about exercise? No problem. We've got certified expert trainers on staff to whip your fluffy ass into shape. Kidnap-style. We remove all barriers to weight loss. Just let us take you away, and make you lose weight, literally! Some might think this is a joke, but we are serious. If you are serious about weight loss, lack willpower, and need to see fast results, we have a program for you. Serious inquiries only.